©January 2002
Carol Jane Remsburg
I've
discovered over the last few days that photographs never do actual justice to
the living or the dead for that matter.
Of all the photos we have only a few remain and most of those are fuzzy
with the white too white and the eyes red and it's just a photo. They tell nothing about that furry feline
who dominated our lives for so long.
His name was "Spike."
It
was back in the spring of '86 when that starving little runt crept into our
lives. Hubby and my brother-in-law were
working to put a new roof of shingles on the house just after we bought it the
summer before and Hurricane Gloria blew through and took most of it with her. When the hammering stopped at mid-day they
climbed down and noticed a kitten. He
was white with dark orangey/brown splotches, tawny eyes, and a huge head in
proportion to his body. In fact, he was
about the ugliest feline any of us had ever seen. And kittens are supposed to be cute.
Ah,
this had to be the little one that the blind cat next door had
been beating up on over the last two nights.
The screams had been horrible but each time we went to look, they
fled. The kitten didn't meow, mew, or
purr. He was totally silent and so
rail-thin it was frightening. All it
took was that marital exchange, that silent look. I picked the poor wee one up and brought him inside the house
where I fed him and kept him far away from our female cats who were both grown. Why I dubbed him "Spike" I'm not
sure. Suffice it to say he didn't act
at all like a cat but rather a dog.
It
was apparent that this 'kitten' had subsisted on a cricket diet because that
was about the only things he could catch.
That first day I managed to keep him from over-eating so he wouldn't
puke. Then I bathed him and he
certainly didn't like that but he endured it.
Finally it came time to introduce him to the girls.
I
had worried that neither of the girls would like him and that I was facing
litter-box training again. I didn't
have to worry about the second item, he LOVED the litter-box even if he
couldn't figure out how to cover his leavings.
Back in '86 our girls were five years old. There was the 'queen' of the house, Muffin, who hated everyone
but loved me and accepted Don and barely tolerated her 'sister' Cotton. Cotton, on the other hand, fell in
love. She found someone to mother in
Spike and until the day she died would latch onto Spike's head and clean him up
like any mother of a 5 year-old boy—heavy handed and intense. Spike was in heaven for about twenty minutes
before Muffin waded in.
You
have to understand the situation.
Muffin was never a large cat but she had such a presence that would put
Cleopatra to shame. Cotton was large,
white, and very accepting of most things and knew just who ruled the
roost—which was Muff.
Yep,
Muff strolled up and didn't even hiss; she just tried to kill him. I rescued the poor little babe and chastised
Muffin rather severely. She, in turn,
decided that she was mad at me and made sure I knew it. The possibility that the little one might
run into real trouble had us keep him safely in bed with us. We figured if he lasted through the night he
might have a chance. And while Muffie
slept across my legs, the only danger was hubby himself who rolled over on to
the little one who emitted his first sounds—a squeak. I woke up to see tiny little eyes beneath hubby. We saved him then too. Ever there after Spikey slept in the crook
of Don's arm for nearly 16 years—every single night up until the last few when
he couldn't get up or down from the bed and suddenly was afraid to be there.
Once
we knew that Muffin wasn't going to murder him outright, we relaxed a bit. The next week was a visit to the vet's
office for shots and an examination.
Even with that huge head and a body that looked about 3 months old, the
vet said he was nearly a year-old and severely malnourished. We fed him and fed him and gave him
vitamins, but still he didn't speak.
How he DID speak was via his eyes, which were quite expressive, and Don,
being a male, latched on to him and coddled our little boy.
Spike
began to grow into his head. Six months
later we had him fixed and de-clawed—he wasn't happy about that and hated any
car ride after that which could only mean a vet's visit.
Time
passed and little Spikey grew into BIG Spikey.
Cotton was a big girl, about 20 pounds, Muffin, about 15 at her largest;
but Spike topped the scales over the next few years as he hit his prime at
about 23 pounds. He was a fat and sassy
boy. He didn't care how you held him
just as long as you did, so much like a ditzy dog. You could hold him like a baby and hug and kiss him and just
smother him with attention in a way you could neither of the girls. They took their loving at their own pace
like curling up in your lap just before you really had to make a potty
run.
But
for Spike, affection was the name of his game.
He thrived on love and it was obvious from the beginning that he was
certain the sun rose and set on Don. To
consider anything else was like stating the earth was flat. "What are you NUTS Lady?"
And
while Cotton nurtured him and coddled him and mothered him, Spike remained in
absolute awe, wonder, and fear of "She Who Rules" who was Muffin—of
course. Nearly a year later we learned
that Spike could talk. He didn't sound
like Cotton, he sounded just like Muffin who ought to have been Siamese but
wasn't. And like any little kid, once
he learned how to talk he never shut up—EVER.
Over
the next ten years there wasn't a time that Spike didn't stroll past Muffin
that she didn't growl and threaten him with death. He didn't care. He knew
better by then yet he always did treat her with the deference she deserved.
But
then there were those frigid winter afternoons we'd come home and find all
three cats on our bed within touching distance before Muff hopped off and
pretended it was a figment of our imagination.
Only she allowed either of them on the bed. She only gave way at night because Spikey
was kept safe in that special crook of Don's arm—Don learned to sleep that way.
Out
of all the cats that have lived in our marriage, Spike was the only one that
you could hold like a baby, on his back and cooing to him. He could simulate a limp rag with
aplomb. If there ever was a 'dog' that
was reincarnated as a feline, this was it.
You could have held him up by his tail and he wouldn't have cared one
bit—remember you were 'holding' him.
Some
nearly five years later we had a daughter, our Erin Morgan. It was September of 1990. Both Muffin and Cotton weren't happy about
the new addition—Muffin especially had cause for concern as she had endured a
terrible experience with little ones.
Spike had no fears, he was curious.
He wondered and he liked to snuggle.
I
had worried over Muffin's possible revenge over the next few years but Spike
was always there and took her abuse and kept everyone else safe—especially the
babe. Spike became Muffin's target of
choice. Screams, growls and terrific
keenings were the result, but by then he was big enough to handle it all and
carried it off with ease all the while as Muffin snorted, glared, and
spit. He was bigger than she and yet he
always bowed down to her. Still he loved
to play and would torment her and then go running to Cotton for care but not before
tattling to "Daddy." That cat
lived to tattle. I'll even bet you
know people like that too.
Yes, that cat, our Spike-boy, he seemed nearly human. He was as needy for attention as a newborn from the beginning until the end. He adored his morning cream bowl and 'specially' selected foods of albacore tuna drained and mashed, the tuna juice was offered separately . . . Roast beef finely chopped and served. Anything, and I mean anything for him.
Saturday
evenings were the normal times for family visits with dinner and cards or just
talk. But as the huge crew would come
and before they could leave we all stood in the kitchen. Spike made his rounds—around and around and around
he went. He spoke, he cuddled, and he
nuzzled one and all—even those of us who weren't leaving. He was vocal and everyone paid attention to
him.
As
I've mentioned Spike was a feline but didn't act like one. He was more profound 'puppy' caught in an
erstwhile feline fur getup. And when
the errant feline HATER passed through our doors, Spike gave them extra-special
attention. There wasn't a one that
didn't leave without a new outlook on the feline family.
Over
the years Spike remained steadfast in his love and devotion for Don. And I do mean devotion for it wasn't
anything else. Spike would wake us
every morning at 5:45 AM. Spike had his
cream while we had coffee. Then he was
served a sumptuous breakfast. He had
his snuggles and loves before we left for our workdays. And each late afternoon he was waiting just
inside the door for our arrival and greeted us accordingly. Each evening he spent with Don. There wasn't even the privacy of a potty
break or any other kind of 'break' for Spike was there. Marital interludes he was shut away from and
he knew and continually howled and scratched at the door. If the kid weren't a such sound
sleeper I don't know if they would have happened at all.
Time
passes and often we look at our pets as offspring. Yeah, Spike was much like a child, a devoted, demanding, but
adoring child.
Over
the last two years he dropped nearly all his former weight. He became not much more than that bag of
bones with some fur to hold it together—about 7 pounds worth and nearly all of
that bones. Still he seemed as vital as
he ever had been sans a bunch of teeth so we kept his food soft and tempted him
with whatever goodies we could and kept on coddling him.
Many
nights I would curl up in bed first before Don with a good book. Spike was always there hounding me before I
could change into my nightgown and we'd talk and I'd exhort him to 'wait just a
bloody minute.' Then I'd gently put him
up on the bed with the little light on and settle down to read before
sleep. He'd cuddle up, sniff my entire
face, we'd kiss, and then he'd lay next to me until his favorite person came to
bed and he would shift into the crook of Don's arm. That's how we went to sleep for years.
About
a month ago this changed. Spike didn't
want to get into the bed anymore for he was afraid he might have to get down to
use the box and didn't trust himself.
Don and I knew what was happening and didn't want to talk about it. No, that's a lie. I wanted to talk about it but Don didn't. It hurt him too much. Meanwhile Spike would clumsily make his way
to the bottom of the stairs or sleep on the rug in the bathroom both just a few
feet away from our bed.
Then
it happened on a Monday. After weeks of
spending most of his time in the chair in my office during the days, Spike
didn't leave my office—his small safe place where our 'big tom' couldn't harass
him. He didn't make his way to the
bathroom or the bottom of the stairs—he suddenly couldn't walk anymore. That's also when I realized that Spikey had
gone blind. Don had coddled him and
kept him so much I hadn't a chance to get a good look at the old boy. How he'd managed the last couple of months
I'll never know other than by his hearing which was still acute.
Over
this short period of two weeks I had been diverted because our daughter
suffered a very bad case of the flu and I focused on her and was sans sleep for
almost 6 days. Then I got sick.
Then
Spikey couldn't walk anymore on Tuesday morning. We worried. I got
sicker. By Tuesday night it was bad. Not just with my bout of illness but we knew
Spikey was dying. He couldn't walk, he
couldn't use the box, and he shunned any food or water.
I
finally opted to stay home the following day.
I couldn't work, I felt as if I had a throat full of razors and a cough
that would make you shudder. I called
in sick at work and tried to get a doctor's appointment and got it for the
following day. So I curled up on the
floor and spent the day holding my old boy after making a vet's appointment for
him later. Don would have to take
him—this one last time.
For
hours I held him and for hours he knew just how much I loved him. Spikey was such a gentleman and a precious
part of our lives. He loved so much and
so hard that other times I deemed him the pest.
Don
came home that Wednesday, January 23rd, 2002, and bundled Spikey up
in a big box with towels and blankets.
Erin and I gently kissed him and said our goodbyes. Spike, totally sightless by then, kept
purring and trilling his love.
Over
the 10-minute drive to the Vet's office Don kept one hand on Spike and kept
talking to him. Spike kept
purring. The vet was shocked that even
in this advanced state that the cat was purring. Spike purred until he died.
Don cried—and he's not a man that cries. I cried when I couldn't before when it hurt so badly. Erin cried and just now understands
why. And the rest, well, we've two
'young' other felines a big-boy 'tom' and a petite 'grand-dame' now wandering
about calling for him.
Many
folks think that pets are simply that—pets.
This is not so in many cases.
Yes there are pets who are cute and wonderful and funny, but then there
are those who you have bonded with and know you better than your kids. There are those who can be there for you in
ways your spouses can't. They love with
such devotion and care that when you read those weird newspaper columns about
'dumb' animals you just shake your head.
Yeah,
they do know. Muffin's loss hurt me so
badly for she was the ONLY cat who adored just me and she understood me like no
other and was there when we lost our first child and she never allowed me to push her away. Spikey loved everyone and
demanded total attention but his focus always remained with Don.
Spikey
was a true wonder for a cat. He wasn't
stand-offish. He cared not just about
himself but everyone he loved. This was
a cat who not only cared but worried.
No, he wasn't a just a cat, and he wasn't even a dog. This was a being as close to human as many
real folks can't manage to become.
Spikey loved with real love.
I
miss him very much.