©March 2001
Carol Jane Remsburg
Every
week I dread it and every week I go. I
don't know why I shop as it were the onset of a famine or a depression, I just
do. The funny part is that I hate
shopping. Allow me to list my woes.
First
of all, I shop on Friday evenings after work and after I pick up my daughter
from her after-school program. The ride
to and from before we even get to the store is nearly 30 minutes. I don't know about you but I'm tired at the
end of the work week and would put it off until Saturday but then I
clean on Saturdays so that's out too.
By the time we arrive at the store, my daughter has already mapped out
which fast food emporium we will pick up her dinner from after the shopping is
over.
Once
inside the grocery store, my daughter invariably cadges all my quarters. If I have no quarters, she wants a dollar to
take to the cashier to be broken—in which case she spends all the quarters. Then, before I've put anything into the
cart, she disappears off into "seek mode" to find her heart's desire
for this week. That's when I disappear
too.
By
then I'm moving at lightning speed to rush through the store in hopes I can
beat her to the register before she finds something hugely expensive and we
have to have another one of our mother-daughter scenes in the store. No aisle is left without the skid marks of
my cart as the cart itself becomes loaded.
I'd rather over-buy than under-buy.
It doesn't bother me to have 8 5-pound bags of sugar at home than to run
out. It'll get used—eventually. Therefore, I have enough dry goods in my
home to start my own store.
There
is the mad display of the cereal aisle to decipher. It's more of a gauntlet than anything else. Then there's the deli and what's on sale
this week that I can choose from that the family will actually eat for their
lunches. I found out that Liverwurst is
a no-no. Hmm, but at 79 cents a
pound it was good for a try. Oh, and
that "Spice Loaf" is out too.
The
normal stuff from the dairy lane is easy, always milk, butter, cheese, eggs,
and cartons of half & half for the coffee.
Sometimes there will be sour cream and yogurt stuck in the cart. This action simply requires no thinking so I
can keep moving. If it were only so
easy in the pet aisle—with an aging cat's palate to accommodate, I have to pick
and choose carefully which means more lost time.
The
last loop through is always the meat lane in the back of the store. If I'm lucky then I've figured out already
what I'm cooking for the weekend dinners because I never really worry
about the weeknights (that's sort of a catch-as-catch-can----heat it and eat
it). Much depends on the season and the
weather. You don't want to make a huge
batch of vege/beef soup or steaming chili if it's over 50o outside. The same can be said for making a chilled
pasta salad when it's raw, cold, or snowing out.
I
always worry that they'll be out of just what I'm looking for—no matter what it
is. It doesn't happen often, but it has
which tends to blow my fuses and push me to rethink my plans. Remember, by Friday evening my circuits are
already shaky. There isn't anything
worse than searching for a nice, big bottom-round roast for the crock-pot and
the only thing remotely available is an expensive London-broil cut. I don't care how expensive it is—I hate
the taste of London broil. Me, I'll
take a good chuck shoulder pot roast any day—but there have been those
times when I have to alter and serve up something other than bovine. I'm big on porcine—but hubby isn't unless
it's boneless chops—served up the way his momma made them. I make him suffer with poultry more than
he'd like. And seafood? Well, unless it's fish sticks and rarely,
only then. Sigh . . ., what's happened
to taste in America these days?
Then,
breathless, I rush to the checkout and it's time for the moment of truth. Ka-Ching!
It's always an ouch but that's something I can stand. What I can't stomach is why I can't get a
good bagger! Why is it that they are
all young boys? Didn't they ever shop with
their mothers? Don't they know that
bread crushes and eggs break? Don't
they know how to keep the cold foods together and not in the same bag as the
liquid floor cleaner? Don't they know
that a flimsy plastic bag will NOT hold 85 cans—of anything? And, why is it when you elbow them out of the
way to do it right, they always give you that blank stare?
Then
we exit the store, load up the car, pick up the sainted child's dinner and make
tracks for home. Once home, it's time
to unload it all and try to find a home for it all. Whew! It's just another
week of shopping for groceries and I'm glad it's over until next Friday. Did I say I hate shopping?