©February 2000
Carol Jane Remsburg
With children you never know of what sort you will be gifted with. From the moment of their birth life becomes a continuum of surprises—or not. My daughter is one of those enigmas in life that I'll never understand even if I live to be Methuselah's age. "Order" is her watchword, any upset of that applecart and there is hell to be paid.
When
she reached the near-toddler stage and I couldn't keep her in the crib another
minute, we opted for a youth bed. This
was after putting a straight-chair next to the crib so she could climb out
without inflicting grievous injury upon herself. The floor was very hard and the fall would be a long one. With the "youth" bed my life
forever changed with that little metal frame painted a bright and cheery red,
it housed a crib mattress. Try to keep
a tot in one and off to the land of Morpheus.
It doesn't happen unless you curl up with them while giving hour-long
backrubs with cooing sounds and tickling sessions. No adult can comfortably situate themselves onto such a tiny bed
with a child and 847 stuffed animals and two oversized pillows to keep the
child from knocking her brains out on the metal side rails.
This
led to the nightly ritual that is still ongoing to this day. It's a cuddle, a backrub, and a quiet end to
the day—it lasts 5 minutes or less on a good night. Some nights we repeat this so frequently I begin to wonder if the
calendar hasn't been shifting without my awareness.
That
"youth" bed didn't last very long.
I couldn't keep her in it. I
opted for a more intensive training. We
put her in a "BIG" bed. No,
not just your standard twin bed, we put her in the antique, hand-made spool bed
my hubby's great-grandfather built about a hundred years ago. It's a ¾-sized bed that we had to
special-order a mattress and box spring for long before Erin was ever thought
about. Back then they used feather
ticks. Putting a mattress and box
spring on this frame made the bed look like the Empire State Building to this 3
year-old. It was a climb up and a climb
down that she wasn't all that eager to do.
Ah
Ha! What a wonderful idea, I
thought. Gleefully rubbing my hands
together, I did feel that once abed with a nice warm cuddle and a backrub,
she'd be in for the night. That lasted
less than two weeks because she must have 'monkey' in her blood to clamber up
and down with such skill.
Sigh!
Then
came the home rehab. Erin didn't like
it. She didn't like the disruption, the
new carpet, the new paint, the new walls, and especially the 'new room' we
designed just for her—upstairs. It's
somewhere between 550 & 700 square feet.
I dunno which, but suffice it to say, it's enormous. No child should have that sort of room all
to themselves—the damn thing has two wings and all the amenities of phone,
satellite TV, Nintendo 64, and her computer if she wants it there! It was fine as a 'playroom' but definitely
not in contention for a 'bedroom.' No
way and no how was she leaving her teensy little bedroom downstairs that we had
plans to transform into a miniature library.
Okay, it would have some bookshelves and be home to two chairs, but it
was a grand idea.
Thus
she kept her playroom and her bedroom—she still did most of her playing in the
living room as not to be out-of-touch with her family. Nothing is beneath her scrutiny or rights of
control. That's at least in her
eyes.
That's
when I rearranged her bedroom and moved her bed to the far wall across the
room. I thought the kid was going to
give birth to a litter of kittens or pass a gallstone or something. She came home and found her normally
disarrayed room in pristine condition—and 'changed'! This was not a good thing for her. She cannot stomach this kind of upheaval in
her life. It took three days before she
could comfortably accept this change—and then whined about it for another two
weeks. My dreams of moving her into
that upstairs realm were dwindling fast.
It had already been two years and she was approaching nine years of
age. What gives here?
Major
discussions had been held during these years over the 'move.' Her answer was a definite and emphatic
"No!" We tried everything
from reverse psychology to bribes. Then
hubby had an idea, but we waited until well after she was nine. We waited until yesterday. Hubby brought home a "new"
bed. It was just a twin bed, a nice
little bed. I brought home the fancy,
fresh bed linens and new pillows. We
assembled the bed and made the area a cozy haven. Erin was drawn to it like a bee to a flower. Meanwhile, hubby and I took bets that Erin
wouldn't last the night. However, both
of us were betting she wouldn't so neither had a 'taker.' Guess what?
We lost that bet. Erin slept
much better than a baby upstairs in that bed.
The
queen of I'll-hate-changes-in-my-life-until-I-die accepted that change and that
challenge. Tonight, the second night
met with a few extra demands for hugs, love, and reassurance, but her
determination to camp out in an alien world is in stone and her resolve a sure
one. Her only request is that before I
retire—which will be late—is to escort her for a last potty run so she won't
have to worry about coming down the stairs too sleepy to find her way.
My
daughter alternates between being a "plodder" of the right, true, and
sure, but when there's something shiny and new—she'll run for it like a hungry
trout. Cross your fingers for me,
meeting this crossroads is a big one because then I know she can bravely meet
the rest of life's challenges. Most of
us know when and where we will sleep at night.
Being sure and safe in that concept helps us face the morning and a new
day of challenges. I hope you slumber
sweetly tonight—me, I'll be awake.