Carol Jane Remsburg
There's a gremlin in our house. No, it doesn't take the remote, the cordless phone, or even finish off the last of the toilet paper on the roll. I know where they go. However, our little house gremlin is a dedicated one, it only steals two things: tape and scissors. And it doesn't matter what kind of tape it is either, it could be scotch tape, strapping tape, shipping tape, or even duct tape. If that little booger finds it, it's gone like it was never even here.
Being the house finder, I'm good at what I do. If it's an odd piece of lint that had an stud earring back in it—I can find that sucker. However, if we need tape or scissors to make school book cover out of a brown paper grocery bag, forget it. I'll go insane. I can find neither tape or scissors. In a pinch, after much fracas and tears on my part, I'll end up with heavy-duty aluminum foil until I can go buy more tape and scissors.
In the last six months along I've bought 8 pair of scissors and I buy scotch tape by the gross every Christmas. I even store it in the same place so I can't lose it. Somehow it still disappears.
A few years back when
Over the years, whenever I've
needed either tape or scissors, I've looked where they are supposed to be—and
And even as much as I really tried
Hubby isn't the culprit on the tape
and scissors either.
But still!!! The only other breathing inhabitants in the house are the cats. Trust me, while they'll decimate our current cricket population, scotch tape and scissors do nothing for them. Thus far I certainly haven't found a cache of scissors under the bed.
Somehow I know you think I must be
joking. In the last twenty-four months,
I have purchased no less than 18 pairs of scissors in reality. I can currently find only two—one pair an
antique of my grandmothers that I keep hidden only for dire emergencies, and
the other one is a pair of cuticle scissors that
Now I can account for the occasional disposal in error in the trashcan amid wrapping paper or something but not of the dozens purchases over the last two decades. Now as for the tape, no 3-person family can use THAT much tape—ever. I even hide it in my office (like that's off-limits to anyone), but at least a roll should be left, one roll at least.
As for the shipping tape, I bought that last year, six big
rolls and a dispenser with a handle.
Even the dispenser disappeared.
It was a prickly thing to work with so I know that
That great creation by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes, once stated; "If you eliminate all the possibilities, you are left with the answer." Or it was something like that.
Therefore, I have deduced, we have a house gremlin with a fetish for scotch tape and scissors. Now that I've settled on that conclusion, I'll have to buy another selection of scissors and tape and store them under the back seat of my truck. Hey, if hubby can do it, so can I.
Hope you don't have any house gremlins. And if you do, what do they crave?