Carol Jane Remsburg
Courage in Motion
She’s about to graduate high school in a few weeks. She has missed every dance during her high
school tenure, save one, homecoming two years back with a group of girl
friends. She wasn’t going to sit out
another dance or important school function.
As prom drew closer, we found a better dress, the shoes, booked the appointments for manicure, pedicure, and hair, all from her small savings. She’d arranged for her cousins to come prep the makeup and send her off in style amid a flurry of snapping cameras, hugs and kisses.
This is a perfectly ordinary account that happens thousands of times within families across the country. What makes this different are several points. This teen has spent years feeling like the ugly duckling, awkward, homely, fat, unworthy. The ideals in high school invariably are the well-endowed, yet petite, blondes and brunettes. To her, she met none of the criteria, being statuesque, and a strawberry-blonde, not even what some would consider a redhead, but she is.
Last summer she worked and saved up to buy a treadmill and it hums daily. Slowly, things began to change. The child was never fat, but she felt huge. Luckily she wasn’t anorexic or bulimic, she loves food, but she needed to be more active. She didn’t even notice how she DID begin to change, the subtle ones, not even just the weight, she’s a late bloomer and she’s still no where close to the bloom yet to come.
Over the last month, enormous things have happened in her life. The long put-off driver’s permit was finally gotten on the same day we set up her own bank account. Then, just days later, a letter was given to Erin offering her full tuition and fees for college when she hadn’t even applied, but her grades have been stellar throughout high school. She’d earned this through her own hard work. Suddenly her world was spinning. Everything was happening at once, right after she secured her summer job as well.
She’s still facing the last few weeks of high school, exams, and graduation. Last week the final acceptance letter from college arrived, and then it was PROM day. So much happening nearly every day, it’s overwhelming.
For years, literally,
It was finally time to go after a round of pictures in the
backyard, hugs and well wishes. My
The Grand March at the prom is always optional. While there were a few others who went to the
I was so busy trying to take pictures with my bulky camera, I never got to see it all.
The call came as I was busy at the computer at home
reviewing all the pictures I’d taken, working to resize those I liked and was
going to keep. She said,“Come get me, I’m ready.” It was only , but her feet were killing her.
It was an hour later by the time her father and I brought her home. She had already been on her phone to her special one, but just briefly, she wanted to get home so she could go hide and they could talk for the hours they do on Friday and Saturday nights, until like .
This night was to be no exception. This pair talks constantly, IM’s endlessly, and text each other every chance they get. Their quasi-romance, if you can call it that, is long distance, about a hundred plus miles apart, and that’s when he’s in school, his home is even farther away.
I stayed up until , working with the photos, sharing them out via email to sundry family and friends. I was so proud of her, but I didn’t know the torrent of tears that was to come the next morning. She was crushed when he never commented over how she looked and wanted to ignore her night, wanted to talk about other things.
What a pair of innocents. The time they spend together in all forms, is mind-boggling. If they aren’t gaga over each other, then I don’t know human nature at all. By the end of Saturday, my most forthright daughter couldn’t take it anymore. She called him and reminded him how she felt about him and pretty much ripped him a new one over his callous indifference and just what she expected of him, friend or otherwise, and hoping hard for otherwise. Yet, at this point, she’d vented her anger, she wasn’t pleading for them to be a couple anymore. It was time for him to take a new look, take stock, and think.
As moms, we are staying out of it. However, I get MOST of the point-by-point drama, and the tears. Bless her, my daughter has never learned guile or seduction as is the female wont. It’s a shame, I was the same way, the only daughter my mother lamented over.
The outcome of this particular drama is still up in the air. However, I’m pretty sure how it will come out, and I’m keeping my smiles secret from her for now. This pair is too afraid of what has already happened, they are so silly.
It’s been a big month already, especially after April. My baby has finally come into her own and knows she’s not just worthy, but exceptional, intelligent, and beautiful. Knowing it and feeling it sometimes are worlds apart, these worlds have finally met. I couldn’t be prouder of her. I’m blessed and I’m so grateful it’s finally happened.
Life is so amazing sometimes, and worth all the tears. When the ugly duckling realizes she’s the most beautiful swan of all.