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©August 2007

Carol Jane Remsburg




Bumbles Do Bounce






Can you say, "OUCH?" 


Okay, so that's not what I said when I fell down.  Actually it wasn't a bad word either, rather it was the litany of "I'm okay!  I'm okay!  I'm Okay!"


To know why I do this is simply for the benefit of my loved ones or even strangers who may witness my predilection for falling down.  It's always unexpected and today was no different than any other time it's happened.


Hubby was accompanying me out to the grill to fetch our dinner, he was kind enough to hold the back door open onto the porch when it happened.  As I crossed the threshold, left foot first, it came down and simply rolled over like a well-trained dog on command.  I crashed down onto the hard salt-treated floor-boards as if I'd been struck dead, down hard on the right knee and then turning to land on my right shoulder so I could cradle the big Pyrex glass dish and lid I was carrying out to the grill so it wouldn't shatter.


Poor hubby, even if he'd been in his 20's couldn't have been quick enough to catch me, it was over in a flash, but I couldn't get up right away.  It's always a shock when it happens.  The mind does a really fast scan over the body to see it anything is really hurt, not simple bruising.  The brain bypasses everything else and goes straight to the mouth that bleats:  "I'm okay!"  Then it doesn't shut up for a bit.  There have been a few times when that hasn't been the answer, like when I stepped off the wheelchair ramp and broke my ankle, thought I'd snapped both of them, so did the docs…but that didn't happen today.  Thank GOD!


Yet, it's the strangest thing.  Falling down should be so easy.  Today this one took a little longer for me to get up than most times, I'll pop back up like I have springs.  While it was still under a half a minute, I was trying to ward off the initial shock and pain while knowing if I didn't get up quickly, the worry to hubby and teen would spiral out of control.


When we're kids, we fall down a lot, often with no ill effects and we shake it off.  As we get older, our bodies are less kindly disposed to such treatment.  And for a woman with traitor ankles, this can be ugly.  I should be happy because I haven't done this little move in over two years.  And the funny thing is, I've fallen in that same spot at least three different times.


I got up and hushed the alarms of both hubby and teen, told them we had to check the food or it would burn up.  Yes, I had grayed out, the room was spinning, and my right knee hurt like a mad bastard where I slammed down on it but I had to keep going.  Luckily, the food on the grill had about another 3-4 minutes to go, so back inside we went, both of them watching me like a hawk until I sat down.  Then my stomach rolled, I broke out into a heavy sweat and the dizziness kept right on.  I needed air, a fan, just for a minute. 


I hobbled into the living room, followed closely by the teen who turned the fan on and put it right in my face.  The rush of air blew away the lingering shock in only a minute or two.  It was time to go retrieve dinner from the grill.  That was all I really needed.


Oh, my knee will hurt for days to come and the bruise I'll see come morning will be spectacular.  But then, like all "Bumbles" I bounce.  I've been doing this for decades, I just hope I bounce back as quickly the next time.


I always hate when this happens, it's embarrassing.


I'm just glad it didn't happen on the stairs at work this time.  It's bad enough scaring your family, but with strangers it's always worse—they think I'm dead or something.  I'll never forget the assistant manager at the grocery store who saw me literally flip over with the same thing on exiting the grocery store.  I could read his mind so clearly—"Lawsuit!"  The poor man, I thought I gave him a heart attack.  I just waved him off and took my scraped knees, groceries, and what little was left of my dignity and hobbled off to my car to escape.


Meanwhile, ya'll keep safe out there, you know at least 90% of injuries happen while at home.  And if you have weak ankles, forewarn your family, oh,--never mind, they'll get used to it.



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